By Lisa Brick
“I find for myself that my first thought is never my best thought. My first thought is always someone else’s; it’s always what I’ve already heard about the subject, always the conventional wisdom.
It’s only by concentrating, sticking to the question, being patient, letting all the parts of my mind come into play, that I arrive at an original idea. By giving my brain a chance to make associations, draw connections, take me by surprise. And often even that idea doesn’t turn out to be very good.
I need time to think about it too, to make mistakes and recognize them, to make false starts and correct them, to outlast my impulses, to defeat my desire to declare the job done and move on to the next thing.” – William Deresiewicz
Go out and shop for what you need…
When we recognize we don’t have what we need to “get the job done” whether it is clothing so we can show up a certain way or tools to complete a project we’ve launched, we have a few choices. They are to give up on our objectives, make due with what we have, or go out and shop for whatever we need to accomplish our goals. We have the same options regarding our thoughts. We have thoughts yet we are not our thoughts. If our negative thinking is leading us to give up on our objectives, feel incapable or insecure, or continually uncomfortable “making due” we can begin to “shop” for new and more effective thoughts. We can shop for thoughts that change how we feel and act and allow us to accomplish the personal goals that mean so much to us.
Shopping for thoughts is particularly important when the thoughts we have fail to assist us in finding a way out of dark, negative places. These dark, negative places make sense. We are not given a plethora of thoughts that empower us to process random violence like the shootings in Connecticut or the bombings at the Boston Marathon or more personal traumas like the collapse of a marriage, serious disease, financial downturns, or the many other challenging situations that life can offer up.
There are individuals who have experienced all of the above and have come through stronger than they were previously, like a blade that is strengthened in the heat of the fire. There are times we have no choice regarding the fire yet we can choose to shop around and begin to pick up a new wardrobe or tool chest of thoughts that will support us in strengthening rather than dissolving.
We offer a menu of new thoughts that you can shop through focused on divorce yet include principles which can be applied to all of the above situations: posts, recommended books, podcasts, and coaching.
While you may feel like you have no choices, see everything in a negative light, insecure, and see yourself incapable of the strength to endure, now’s the time to look around and shop. Go ahead, shop for new thoughts which can open you to new perspectives, more energy and enthusiasm, and inspire you to take healthier actions now. Shop to your hearts content. Take home everything that will get the job done!
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Lisa Brick, Journey Beyond Partner
Our team of coaches at JBD is passionate about helping men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. We work together with you to open the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Together we create a path to clarity. Find out if Coaching is right for you, and accept my gift of one FREE session.
