Managing Anger: When It Isn’t Yours
How do you keep a loved one’s tantrums from ruining your relationship? Here are some tips from the experts:
- Don’t be silent. Ignoring the bad behavior enables it. And withdrawal makes the angry person feel judged, says Joe James, a psychologist and anger-management specialist.
- Validate the feelings, not the behavior. ‘Say, “Honey, I understand that you are really upset,” ‘ says Karen McMahon, a divorce and separation coach from Oceanside, N.Y. ‘You are not validating their reaction; you are validating their emotion. And it is the quickest way to disarm them.’