Forgiveness

By Karen McMahon


 

for·give  verb fər-ˈgiv transitive verb
1: to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult>

What is the value in forgiving someone?
Do we forgive for their sake or for ours?
What cost do we pay for unforgiveness?
If we forgive does that mean we must accept their behavior or trust them again?

Perhaps the best way to approach forgiveness is to look at the affects of unforgiveness.  If someone wrongs you and you do not forgive them, what happens?  Who suffers?

Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die!
~ Anonymous

The PAIN we feel when someone harms us is inevitable.  The SUFFERING we experience after the fact is our own doing; it is OPTIONAL.  It is the result of our unforgiveness.  This is not an easy concept to grasp because we were wronged and do feel pain.  But the ongoing pain, or suffering, is from reliving the incident and holding onto unforgiveness.  The person who wronged us has no idea nor are they hurt by our unforgiveness.  But for us it is like a cancerous tumor growing large and painful and eating away at us each day.

Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional.

People often find forgiveness difficult because they think they are doing it for the other person.  Forgiveness, in fact,  is a gift to one’s self.  It enables you to stop the pain from becoming suffering; to release the situation, forgive and begin to forget.  It is a soothing balm that enables you to move on with your life.

How has unforgiveness affected your life?  What is keeping you from the act of forgiveness today?

Chief Visionary: Karen McMahon

Karen McMahonOur team of coaches at JBD is passionate about helping men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. We work together with you to open the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Together we create a path to clarity. Find out if Coaching is right for you, and accept my gift of one FREE session.

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