By Karen McMahon
STOP the merry-go-round
You are undoubtedly arguing with your spouse more often than ever during this difficult season of divorce. How often do you find yourself continuing the argument long after the other person is gone, this series is a must read.
After a confrontation with your spouse, you may find your self operating on automatic pilot because you are living in your head. All your attention is on the heated argument that continues. The only problem is the other party is long since gone. But you keep on arguing, point — counter-point as your emotions continue to build. As a result, you are staying angry, upset or frustrated. The crazy part is that the situation has passed and you are making a conscious (or not so conscious) choice to prolong your own pain.
STOP. Make a point to live in the present moment. When the argument is over, let it be over. Don’t dwell in that ugly place of anger and hostility. If you need to think through your point for the next time the two of you talk, then do so, write a list if you have to, and then let it go. Begin to experience life around you again. Turn off your auto-pilot and be an active participant in the present moment.
If you have found yourself on that merry-go-round of unending mental debate with your soon-to-be-ex, tell us about it. How does that behavior serve you? What benefit do you reap out of perpetuating the fight after he / she has left.
Please tell us about your story. How has mental chatter caused you undo angst? What challenges do you have with creating healthier coping mechanisms?
Chief Visionary: Karen McMahon
Our team of coaches at JBD is passionate about helping men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. We work together with you to open the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Together we create a path to clarity. Find out if Coaching is right for you, and accept my gift of one FREE session.
