How do you reconcile the differences between divorce and faith? While navigating the Holy Land with Rabbis, Ministers and Imams the conversation turned to divorce and faith. The four who spoke (both men and women), recalled their reasons for divorce and the day they decided to take the first steps in the divorce process. While […]
By Karen McMahon I recently spoke about forgiveness at a retreat and even those that understood the value of forgiveness and deeply desired to, struggled with how to forgive. What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is NOT for the other person. It is not something we do for the other. We do not stand righteous […]
By Karen McMahon Do you feel stuck in the past? Do you find that you are having trouble starting over? What if the very thing that was keeping you stuck had to do with you and your unwillingness to forgive yourself for being…human? On of my coaching groups was talking about starting over after divorce. […]
By Karen McMahon Accepting how people show up in our relationships One of the most liberating action steps that we can take in ALL our relationships is to accept others as they are. It is the first step to living in peace with our ex, teenagers, mother, etc. EVEN if that person is hurtful, […]
By Karen McMahon Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~Albert Einstein There are no facts, only interpretations. ~Friedrich Nietzsche When journeying through divorce most of us are in a mildly to highly contentious state with our soon-to-be-e (STBX). From a place filled with tension, fear and blame our view of reality […]
By Karen McMahon Our judgment is inextricably attached to our emotional pain. As our judgment of anything decreases we immediately find ourselves letting go and notice our peace increase. Like scales, the more pronounced our judgment, the less peace and joy we experience. Why talk about detachment and letting go of judgment at all? The […]
When we judge we are in resistance to who someone is or what a situation is. The resistance causes us pain, sometimes-great pain and suffering. Our instinct is to blame the subject of our judgment for our pain when in fact it is our judgment of them and the resulting resistance that causes our pain. The good news is...
Acceptance is seeing it, feeling it and choosing to move through it to get to the other side. We can accept with judgement but we will be filled with bitterness and resentment. It is in forgiving the situation or person that we can shift...
Unforgiveness and resentment are the ties that bind you to the past, to the wrong that was brought upon you. It is impossible to leave the past behind and get on with your life while you are living in unforgiveness.
What is the value in forgiving someone? Do we forgive for their sake or for ours? What cost do we pay for unforgiveness? If we forgive does that mean we must accept their behavior or trust them again?
Perhaps the best way to approach forgiveness is to look at the affects of unforgiveness. If someone wrongs you and you do not forgive them, what happens? Who suffers?
