By Jean Grossman
Surviving divorce can be challenging even when it goes smoothly. Lots of unknown territory to navigate, lots of people telling you what to do, lots of people telling you you’re not doing it right, does a picture come to mind? After a while, it gets to just be too much and the dam breaks and your emotions are all over the place. That emotional explosion is known as a meltdown. Avoiding the meltdowns will go a long way to help you survive divorce with less stress.
Just yesterday I had one myself. And it caught me by surprise. How did it happen? Simply put, I was looking forward to something and it didn’t happen. All of a sudden, I was in a furious tailspin. The reason for my surprise? I am KNOWN for being in moment, going with the flow, accepting change and differences, and maintaining a zen attitude toward all that happens in life. So, what happened?
Well, to make it simple – I took the focus off me. What does that mean exactly? I started putting everyone else’s needs first: my brother who’d had a heart attack, my husband who had cared for him and my siblings, my clients who were pressing for work to get done, the list goes on. All admirable on the surface, but, in the doing of all that I’d stopped my workout, my morning meditation, my gratitude list, and the exercise that had been essential to my well being. In other words, I’d forgotten about myself!
Tips For Surviving Divorce
Now what? The easiest and simplest thing was to journal – last night I wrote down five things I am truly grateful for. I used to think that gratitude was being thankful for getting what I wanted; when my desire for instant gratification was fulfilled. Today I know better. Gratitude is an integral part of my serenity and it is the means of restoring that serenity when I notice I’ve strayed from it. Today I know that gratitude leads to growth. I am committed to growing as I go through my life – not just going through it.
So today, knowing that each thought I choose to think leads to the next, I will stay in gratitude for surely that next moment can’t help but bring blessings.
How can you choose each and every day to do something just for you?
