This guest blog post by Sherri Donovan, Esq does a superb job in explaining the role and benefits of working with a parenting coordinator to ensure that the best interest of your children are met after the divorce settlement is signed.
After the legal battle is over and you begin to settle into co-parenting with your ex, if you have a contentious relationship, a parenting coordinator may be just what you need. I personally was strongly advised to have one on call due to the highly combative approach my ex took on all fronts, especially with the children.
Many of you are already familiar with mediation as an alternative to a traditional litigated divorce. In a mediated divorce, both parties work with a neutral mediator, who facilitates the parties’ resolution of issues related to child custody and support, spousal maintenance and equitable distribution.
Another, perhaps less well-known, alternative for conflict resolution among separated or divorced co-parents is called “parenting coordination”.
Parenting coordination is a child-focused alternative dispute resolution process in which a mental health or legal professional with mediation training assists high conflict parents to implement their parenting plan by facilitating the resolution of their disputes in a timely manner. Parenting coordination aims to reduce chronic conflict and litigation between parents and assist parents to co-parent in a way that promotes the well-being of the children and the parent-child relationships. A parenting coordinator provides a communication link between high conflict parents, focusing the parties on the issues to be resolved and the needs of the children in order to contain destructive conflict.
Parenting coordinators can help with disputes over issues in connection with parenting schedules, behavior and communication, and with a child’s activities, education, daycare and health care. Parenting coordinators do not provide therapy or counseling, diagnostic or assessment services, custody evaluations or legal advice. Rather, parenting coordinators manage the parents’ relationship, the structure of engagement, the parenting plan and any conflict and often coordinate other professionals working with the family.
Parenting coordination can be especially helpful when a parenting plan will need to evolve over time to adapt to the changing needs of a family, for example, when a family has small children, special needs children or mental health or substance abuse issues. Parenting coordination can not only help resolve conflict when a dispute arises, but may be utilized to great effect in the initial period after a parenting plan is finalized. Often agreements contain ambiguities and other potential loopholes that may cause conflict when the agreement is put into practice. A parenting coordinator is trained to anticipate potential problem areas. Discussing and then determining an agreed upon solution, or at least a structure and process for communication and dispute resolution, can help prevent conflict before it begins and provide a smoother transition into co-parenting.
Parenting coordinators may be retained by private agreement between parents or parents may include a provision in their parenting agreement that a parenting coordinator will be used to settle disputes related to the agreement. In addition, a court may order parents to retain a parenting coordinator.
Sherri Donovan, owner of Sherri Donovan & Associates, is a family and matrimonial attorney with over 25 years of experience. Ms. Donovan is also a professor of forensic psychology and family law, neutral evaluator for New York State courts, mediator, and parenting coordinator.
www.sherridonovan.com sherri@sherridonovan.com
