Recently I heard two divorced individuals sharing how they used money as revenge. Their logic was that the less they made, the less their exs would have. True enough.
The dilemma with this thinking was that IT WAS IMPOVERISHING THEIR LIVES TOO! When they recognized the lose/lose dynamic they were creating they also recognized that however much money they made, they were the ones to keep the greatest percentage of it. They gave up “money as revenge.” Within a relatively short time new venues opened up for greater prosperity – to have and to share. Not surprisingly, their relationships with their exs and their children improved.
How are you using money in your divorce? What are your thoughts when you pay bills, make purchases, deposit your paychecks or unemployment benefits, look at your account balances on line, see your stock portfolio go up and down, think of college tuition for the kids or retirement for yourself?
Each time you feel anxious about money ask yourself “what am I telling myself?”. Where do you feel stress or feel stuck? What are you basing your happiness on? Your success? How are you using the yardstick of money to judge your worthiness as an human being? How’s living like that been working for you?
To reduce or leave perpetual stress around money behind, to experience greater happiness and to be more successful as a human being, becoming aware of what you tell yourself about money is absolutely necessary. Without awareness there is no freedom and no possibility. With awareness doors begin to open in your mind that allow for remarkable and life enhancing shifts in how you think, feel, and act.
If you feel ready to change your relationship with money consider the following first steps:
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Begin jotting down the thoughts that pop up for you about money. Let go of judging them and simply become aware of what is already there running your internal world.
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Have conversations with people who have prospered personally and professionally. Inquire if they would share their “beliefs” about money.
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Take an inventory of what you love to do and what you excel at. Spare the modesty. This is between you and you. Begin imagining creating income through these areas if you are not already.
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Take an objective look at your expenses and your income. What is real in terms of your cash flow?
This is the starting point for creatively engaging in a new conversation about you and your ability to create a life that includes money AND a mind that is free to create solutions and financial prosperity. These steps are about being happy and confident that you are running the show of your choice, not simply one you inherited from others a long time ago.
While your financial situation will certainly improve through these and subsequent steps, this approach is far from “get rich quick”. It is “get grounded in a new conversation that allows you to be powerful about your future in every domain, from health and well being to finances.”
Begin to create your new conversation about money using your new sense. You’ll be pleasantly surprise about how that new sense will add up to increase prosperity in numerous ways including dollars.
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