By Karen McMahon
There are many strategies available to learn the skill of grateful. We can begin or end every day listing 3 things we are grateful for…they must be different every day. We can keep a gratitude journal, adding to it all the time. We can write letters to those we are grateful for and tell them why. These and many others are wonderful strategies to help us focus on what we have to be thankful for.
I have shared these exercises with clients over the years and they have come up with a healthy list of things they are grateful for. Yet, I am often told it’s affects are momentary but has little lasting affect. Why is that? When we can list such important, invaluable things such as our relationships with family and friends, our good health or financial security or accomplishments or ability to help others…why is it’s affect so short lived?
How do I make my practice of ‘listing’ my gratitude into an Attitude of Gratitude?
What is attitude? “A settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person’s behavior”
Before we try to have an attitude of gratitude, we must first acknowledge what type of attitude we do have. What is our ‘way of thinking’ and how does it reflect in our behavior? Many of us have an attitude of worry and regret. We live in the past, regretting or in the future, worrying.
Our thoughts affect our feelings and our feelings affect our actions.
If we are worrying and regretting we are typically feeling anxious, insecure, shameful, guilty or discouraged. Our resulting behavior will reflect our true attitude by feeling sorry for ourselves, withdrawing, blaming, confronting, etc.
The first step in having an attitude of gratitude is noticing the attitude we are currently walking around with everyday and choosing to consciously change it.
Changing our attitude is a minute by minute, hour by hour practice. Letting go of our old habits of worry and regret and replacing them with an attitude of gratitude happens little by little, one day at a time. The more time we spend thinking of all we have to be grateful for, the happier we are, the more we will affect others lives in a positive way with our attitude and in doing so receive gratitude in return…increasing our gratitude and so on.
Griping OR Grateful?
Life can be difficult and I rarely meet people who have no challenges. It is important that we acknowledge these. Acknowledging the challenges we would like to overcome makes perfect sense.
- A great was to focus on gratitude while facing difficulties is to ‘thank God in advance’ for assisting you through your trials. I once heard the advice to “place your requests to God in an envelope of gratitude”. It allows us to be solution oriented even while stating our difficulties. Then surrender them and focus on gratitude.
- Be specific with your gratitude. What are you grateful for? Why? Give 5 reasons why you are grateful for that ONE thing or person. By taking that second step of thoroughly thinking about the reasons you are grateful, you become more emotionally connected to your gratitude. It is not just a list.
- Throughout the day, notice what you have to be grateful for. A sunny day. An open road without traffic when you expected congestion. A call from a friend or your child seeking your advice. Often the little things that happen often can bring us the most satisfaction IF we acknowledge and embrace them with the same fervor we usually give your complaints.
- Consciously decide to have an attitude of gratitude for the next 10 days and you will make it a habit!
Are you ready for a more inspired, enlivened life? Live in gratitude every day!
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Chief Visionary: Karen McMahon
Our team of coaches at JBD is passionate about helping men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. We work together with you to open the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Together we create a path to clarity. Find out if Coaching is right for you, and accept my gift of one FREE session.
