By Karen McMahon
This article is not about religious beliefs, it is about a spiritual light in the darkness of the unknown. It is about the practice of Faith and Surrender.
“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.”
― Paulo Coelho, Brida
“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.”
― G.K. Chesterton
There are times, many many times, throughout our lives when we have no control over and no way of knowing what lies around the bend…in our future. Divorce is one of the most profound of these experiences. We don’t know what our financial reality will be, where we will live, how often we will see our children, or if we will find love again.
Faith is about believing without seeing.
“Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
There are many things we do have control over and it is our responsibility to do everything in our power to give those things our best effort:
- educating ourselves
- creating a strong personal and professional support network
- supporting our children
- becoming more financially aware
- taking the opportunity to look at our part in the dissolution of our marriage and
- working on our own shortcomings
We are absolutely responsible for our effort, we are equally as powerless over the outcome. It is at this juncture that faith and surrender come in. After we have done all that is within our power, all that is left is surrender and faith. But so often we don’t…
Faith is the belief. Surrender is the practice.
“I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day.”
― Abraham Lincoln
The letting go of what we have no grasp on is painfully difficult… The ironic part is we ‘white knuckle’ the outcome, fretting, worrying, strategizing, what if’ing…wasting our mental and emotional energy. These efforts are completely impotent and have absolutely no affect on the outcome. It is this false sense of control that leads to exhaustion and discouragement.
“At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.”
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
What if we were able to make every effort within our power and then simply let go and trust in the outcome? We would hold onto to all that wasted energy and redirect it onto that which we can control and release the outcome to our higher power, whatever that is?
In the early stages of practicing surrender, we let it go…and then take it back. Let it go again…and again retrieve it. It is so very difficult for us to ‘let go and let God’. Yet, letting go can offer us great peace. “I have done all I can and I know that whatever follows is meant to be. I will be able to navigate it with all my abilities and will again come to a place where I must surrender and have faith.”
“Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment… Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life – and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.”
Eckhart Tolle
Chief Visionary: Karen McMahon
Our team of coaches at JBD is passionate about helping men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. We work together with you to open the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Together we create a path to clarity. Find out if Coaching is right for you, and accept my gift of one FREE session.
