Fears around money and finances before, during, and post divorce can be paralyzing. Self doubts and self criticism are shriveling to a sense of self worth that is already under water.
The first three posts of this series on money supported readers in exploring the thoughts they have around money, separating their thoughts from the actual dollars and cents of their situation, and creating an innovative new conversation about money and finances.
By transforming your internal conversation around money and taking action it is possible to find freedom from fear and create a new future that includes greater prosperity in all areas of life pre, during, and post divorce.
Once you see money as money and old thoughts are no longer running the show you can utilize your ability to dream combined with your talents and strengths to begin creating prosperity through doing what lights you up, turns you on, and moves you to action.
“The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire makes a small amount of heat.”― Napoleon Hill
For this post to be as effective as it can be, write down your responses to the questions posed below. What you discover will be the foundation of your future prosperity. Start by making the following lists:
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activities that you enjoy
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activities that you feel the happiest and most fulfilled engaging in
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whatever it is that you, without modesty, know you have a talent for
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what other people repeatedly tell you you excel at
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what you have the most expertise in
Forget about judging your lists for now, if they are too short or too long, adequate or inadequate, superficial or deep, right or wrong. Simply review them for commonalities.
Here’s an example:
Activities I enjoy: biking, running, homeschooling my children, fixing cars
Activities I feel the happiest and most fulfilled engaging in: physical activities, meaningful (to me) conversations, traveling, feeling that what I am doing is supporting others
My talents: multitasking, finding solutions, understanding how machines work, networking
What other people tell me I excel at: being social, organized, disciplined, parenting, dedicated
Where I have the most expertise: sports training, alternative approaches to health and wellness and non-traditional education
The commonalities I see in the above list are:
I love being active, interacting with other people, being exposed to new places and ideas, and finding and providing alternative and more health supporting options (mental and physical) to the standard fare of “the way we do things”.
If you tend to beat yourself up for what you are or are not doing this is an invitation to STOP. Whatever you are doing or not doing now is perfect for now. Choose to shift into new and therefore less familiar ways to live and be more prosperous and fulfilled utilizing the following five action steps:
1. Imagine what your experience of life would be like if you were capitalizing (literally) on your pleasures and strengths.
2. Declare out loud to yourself and trusted friends that you are accepting and welcoming greater prosperity into your life in every domain, including finances.
3. Begin listening and scanning for opportunities to move from where you are into where you want to be.
“If you can’t do great things, do small things in a great way.” ― Napoleon Hill
4. Prepare to and embrace failure. Know that not every action step will result in the outcome you desire. See failures as opportunities to assess, not proof that you are the failure that an untrustworthy part of your mind whispers you are.
“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” ― Napoleon Hill
5. Reach out to successful people in fields that hold an interest to you and that are aligned with the commonalities you discovered in your lists.
6. Choose one person in your life, personal (trusted friend) or professional (mentor, coach) who will champion you through and on, the inevitability and value of failure (learning and honing new skills), and how capable you are even when you are feeling that you are not!
The client I used as an example in this post decided that he was done struggling around money and finances and was open and welcoming prosperity into his life. After going through the process above he took a part time position as a Brand Ambassador. He choose how much he worked and when to fit his children’s schedules as well as his own. Within two months of being a Brand Ambassador he met the owner of a specialized athletic equipment company. He is now a sales rep for that company, still determines his schedule, paid well with the potential of earning considerably more, and enjoying what he is doing.
Becoming an inspiring prosperity machine is not an overnight endeavor yet the path is infinitely more enjoyable than remaining a victim in your life, in complaint, and telling yourself you are “good for nothing/too good for starting over”, “too old/young”, “not experienced enough/overqualified”, etc., etc., etc.
“Do not wait: the time will never be ‘just right’. Start where you stand, and work whatever tools you may have at your command and better tools will be found as you go along.” ― Napoleon Hill
Resources:
Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill (source of all the quotes in this post)
“The Success Principles (TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be” – Jack Canfield
“Becoming a Wealthy Woman: 101 Articles to Inspire, Motivate, and Take Charge of Your Money to Live Your Best Life” – Hillary Harris
Financially Fit: 8 Ways to Stop Overspending Now
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