By: Karen McMahon
Writing a profile can be uncomfortable
What can I say about myself that is unique and interesting? I don’t want to appear boastful, complicated or have a generic profile. Having fun with it and making it a ‘want to’ rather than a ‘have to’, will make a huge difference. How do you do that when you feel intimidated and resistant?
Elicit assistance
Who knows you best? Ask your friends to help. Caution: you want to choose your positive friends, the ones who support you and resonate with your positive energy. How would they describe you? They can help you write or review it over a cup of coffee or glass of wine. Also consider a friend of the opposite sex who will have a different take on who you are.
When we create our profile, we are sharing our specialness with the dating world. This is a time to flaunt your personality, interests, passions, what makes you unique. You want to stand out. If you have a sense of humor, use it. If you have a life philosophy, share it. You do not want to write a thesis. Write enough to give a flavor of who you are while leaving plenty of room for exploration.
Create intrigue
Leave room for curiosity and see what questions arise. I wrote that I love my job, have fun with it and feel like I am contributing to a better world. Plenty left unsaid and it was interesting to interact with men who never asked a question about my work and others who had fun questioning and guessing and ultimately engaging in great conversations around it. We can tell so much from how others inquire (or not) about what we write.
Keep it positive
What you do like, want, dream of, enjoy, aspire to. Stay away from don’t, won’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t, couldn’t.
Pictures are a must
If you don’t post your picture, most people will not engage with you. Make sure they are current and tell a story; dressed up, casual, doing what you enjoy, close-ups and in your ‘element’. Leave your decade old pictures in the album unless your subtitle says it is from the past and adds to your story of who you are.
I recently went on a date and found myself looking at a 15 year older version of the man I saw on Match. It was a lovely evening but his deceiving photo did not foster trust or a solid foundation for possibility. Swapping out your primary pic on a regular basis is a great strategy since what works for one person doesn’t for another…keep your profile fresh by changing up your primary image. (For you non-tech folks, this takes 2 seconds to do, no worries). I recently made my only full body image of myself my primary picture and was shocked at how many more hits I got.
Why? I have heard that there is a lot of deception around looks. One man told me he showed up and his date was 50 – 70lbs heavier than her picture. There is no building a healthy relationship upon initial deception…embrace who you are and what you look like SO THAT you can meet someone who is attracted to exactly that!
Hit the Post button
You can go back and change things anytime you want. Just do it! And enter with a playful, curious attitude.
Are you ready for life after divorce? But need a helpful push? We can help you out!
