Guest Post By Susan Reach Winters, Esq. and Lindsey M. Housman, Esq.*
Choosing a divorce attorney can be nerve-racking and stressful. Since selecting the right (or wrong) attorney to guide you through the divorce process can have a substantial effect on the rest of your life, it is a decision that should not be taken lightly.
While many people may give you suggestions as to what to look for in an attorney, it is important to be aware of the common pitfalls and mistakes in the selection process. Following are a few considerations for you to keep in mind as you begin your search.
“One size doesn’t fit all.”
Referrals from a friend, colleague, trusted financial advisor, or accountant are a great way to start your search for a divorce attorney. However, just because someone you know, or even a friend of a friend, makes a suggestion, it does not mean your search is done.
It is important to do your own research. Read about the attorney, his or her education, background, and qualifications. Investigate the firm and the other attorneys who work there too, as some of them may be assisting with your divorce.
While looking, keep in mind the size of your case and the issues involved. Is there a family business? Or complex finances? Just because your friend’s attorney was “amazing” and resolved a custody battle, does not mean that attorney is equally qualified, has the experience, or resources to handle other types of serious issues.
There is no “one size fits all” attorney. Every attorney and client has a different background and personality. Unfortunately, divorce is a process; it does not happen overnight. Compatibility is vital to forming a successful attorney-client relationship. You will be working very closely with the attorney you select and sharing many personal, and sometimes emotional, details. If you are able to relate to the attorney in any way or talk with them about subjects other than your divorce, it may make for an easier process. Meet with as many attorneys as you need to until you find the right “fit.”
Lastly, remember that the attorney you hire represents you. Think of the attorney as your spokesperson for the divorce process. Consider the attorney’s ability to communicate and their manner. The attorney you choose should be a reflection of you, go with your gut and do not simply defer to the opinion of your referral source.
“Penny wise and pound foolish.”
During divorce, money always comes into play—how much will this cost me? How am I going to pay for this? However, any cost analysis should look at what you are actually paying for. While one attorney’s hourly rate may be significantly less than another, in the end, it may cost less to hire the more expensive attorney. Sounds counterintuitive, right?
A more expensive attorney, with a higher hourly rate, is likely to be more experienced and will take less time to complete tasks. Less time equals less money. In addition, you will receive a higher quality work product, more seasoned advice, and possibly even a more favorable outcome. Further, after divorce, there may be future financial obligations between you and your ex-spouse. An experienced attorney may be better able to protect you and your interests going forward, so that you are not forced to hire another attorney a few months or a few years down the road.
Hiring the wrong attorney may leave you with no choice but to change representation mid-divorce process. Not only is this likely to delay the conclusion of your case, but it may cost more for the new attorney to take over mid-case than if the attorney had been hired from the outset.
Said simply, do not let money be the deciding factor when selecting an attorney. Picking the right, albeit maybe more expensive attorney, is a long-term investment. “Being in denial never resolved any problem for anyone, anywhere.”
To many, the concept of divorce is scary and one that people choose to avoid or ignore. Do not fall into this trap. As soon as the idea of divorce or separation is on your radar, seek legal advice. Pursuing legal advice early in the process will help to educate you on your potential rights and obligations stemming from the divorce, things to avoid and precautions to take as you navigate through considering your options. Knowledge equals power.
Also, keep in mind that if your spouse consults with an attorney before you, that attorney is conflicted out of meeting with you. Any inaction on your part may limit your options for representation. Sticking your head in the sand and delaying what may be the inevitable will only hurt you. Be realistic about the possibility of divorce and do your due diligence so that you are not restricted in your choice of representation.
In addition, hiring an attorney early in the divorce process who has resources whereon he/she can call upon to assist with the divorce is beneficial. Engaging a “team” of professionals at the outset of your matter to help you through the divorce, such as therapists and financial advisors, can expedite the process and lead to better results. Finding an attorney who has relationships and experience working with these types of professionals can make a big difference.
“Emotions are a temporary state of mind, don’t let them destroy you.”
Though easier said than done, do not let your emotions get the best of you. When choosing a divorce attorney try to see the big picture: where do you want to be at the end of all of this?
At the outset, your primary goal may be to make your soon to be ex-spouse’s life miserable. This is a mistake as, at the end of the day, you may end up in exactly the same spot, it just may take longer and cost more money to get there. Find an attorney who is able to maintain objectivity and help you think rationally and sensibly even though your emotions are running high.
When selecting an attorney, consider all of your options and how you want your case handled. Research and ask about options other than litigation, such as mediation. Weigh the pros and cons and be open to advice from the attorney you interview or select on what option is best suited for your case. However, always do what makes you most comfortable. Is the attorney you want to hire qualified to handle your matter the way you want?
In sum, while the decision to get divorced is not an easy one, it is the first step in a long line of difficult and important decisions that need to be made during the divorce process. Selecting the right professionals to assist you along the way and properly guide you can greatly ease stress and the “fear of the unknown” commonly associated with divorce.
Moreover, surrounding yourself with family and friends will help keep you grounded and seeing the “big picture”. However, at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with the outcome. Make decisions in your, and your children’s, best interests. And, when in doubt, hopefully you have selected an experienced attorney, and other professionals, to lean on.
Susan Reach Winters, Esq.
Susan Reach Winters is a shareholder and the Chairperson of the Family Law Department at Budd Larner, P.C. She has broad experience in all areas of the practice of family law, including divorce, prenuptial agreements, business and other asset valuations, custody and visitation, child support, alimony and equitable distribution.
Lindsey M. Housman, Esq.
Lindsey M. Housman is an associate in the Family Law Department at Budd Larner, P.C., where her practice focuses exclusively on all aspects of matrimonial law.
