What can you do with your weekends or evenings that would bring you joy and fulfillment?
If money is an issue, decide on something that doesn't cost much. Perhaps you love to read but haven't picked up a good long book in ages, what would it be like to find a book club and weave a social setting into your book reading. Maybe you used to bike all the time and join a local bike club...
One of the hardest divorce transitions is the change in your social status. Married couples that you and your spouse have socialized with for years no longer fit into your new single status. Even if you are not single yet, hanging out with your married friends might make you feel at times like
How can you know the difference between a sturdy and rickety support structure? You may love your friends and family, but if they are not helping to move you in a positive direction, take them off your call list for when you need support or a healthy sounding board...
Take a close look at that negative statement you so often say to yourself and see how true it is. For instance, if your overriding thought is, ‘I’m never going to be able to make it on my own", how is this going to make you feel? Actually, how true is that statement?
Have you ever been having a perfectly fine moment, perhaps busy in the midst of your workday tasks. Suddenly you think about the confrontation with your spouse that morning. You begin to play the tape of the argument over and over again in your head. Within no time you find yourself feeling angry, frustrated...
Surrender is handing over the situation to God, the universe, whatever that higher power is to you. Once you know that you have done your best to achieve your desired outcome, the best thing you can do is to hand it over...
There is no value in thinking about things that you cannot do anything about right now. Such thoughts will solve nothing and only lead to anguish. Focus your thoughts on that which you do have control over and leave the rest for another day. This does not mean to avoid the issues you must address, but rather to take a bite size approach...
After a confrontation with your spouse, you may find your self operating on automatic pilot because you are living in your head. All your attention is on the heated argument that continues. The only problem is the other party is long since gone. But you keep on arguing, point -- counter-point as your emotions continue to build...
If you want to find someone to love you, you must first love yourself. How do you do that when everyone is demanding your time?
It is important to realize your role in ‘training’ your loved ones (children, spouse) to expect selflessness from you...as that is how you have acted until now...
"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance" - Oscar Wilde
The first challenge in self loving is to stay in your own head. If you think about being self loving and immediately focus on what everyone else will say, think and do, you will defeat yourself before you begin...
