By Karen McMahon


Consciously choose thoughts that serve you

You are what you think.  Negative thoughts generate negative emotions, positive thoughts generate positive emotions.  Have you ever heard the saying, ‘Fake it ‘til you make it?’ The idea is this.  Divorce is difficult and painful at times, that is a given and no one is suggesting that you walk around making believe you are blissfully happy.  That would be equally unhealthy.  You must feel your feelings.  But you do not need to wallow in them.

Take a close look at that negative statement you so often say to yourself and see how true it is.  For instance, if your overriding thought is, ‘I’m never going to be able to make it on my own”, how is this going to make you feel? Actually, how true is that statement?  What have you done in your past, who do you have in your support system, what protections are yours under the law, that point to the fact that you will be okay?  But your fears, your gremlin lurking in the dark alleys of your mind, is there to scare you and keep you in fear. You can choose to live in the ‘what if’s’ and they are usually all the negative possibilites of what might happen, or you can change your thoughts.

Shine a light on that dark and scary place that your mind goes to by replacing your negative, self defeating statement with a truer one.  “I am strong and capable and I can make it on my own.” Or “I will not only survive this divorce, but once it is over, I will thrive in my new life.” You must choose the words that resonate with you.  Your real truth.  Then say it out loud. Say it again and again.  How does it feel?  Your feelings will change when you own this new positive statement about yourself.   Your energy will shift from negative to positive.  And you will begin to manifest the future you desire.

  1. Take a few minutes to jot down the negative statements about yourself and your situation that you have been focussing on.
  2. Ask yourself how real they are
  3. Replace them with statements that more acurately represent who you are and what you are capable of creating for yourself
  4. Begin to live these new statements

If you have been listening to that negative voice in your head, change it today and share your expereince with us.

Next topic: How Healthy is Your Support Network

Chief Visionary: Karen McMahon

Karen McMahonOur team of coaches at JBD is passionate about helping men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. We work together with you to open the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Together we create a path to clarity. Find out if Coaching is right for you, and accept my gift of one FREE session.