Guest post by: Lee Block, Post Divorce Coach
Dating after divorce can seem daunting. For some it is easy, they just slide back into the social scene without skipping a beat, but for most facing a firing squad may seem more appealing. The fact is, we are predisposed to be a unit, and that need for companionship with someone of the opposite sex who is over the age of 16 will appear again sometime after your divorce is final.
When the need to date and find a mate comes back after divorce, here are some helpful tips to get you back out there.
- Freshen up. Let’s face it, after taking care of kids and everything else that comes with being a single parent, a little freshening up is in order. Get a haircut, buy a new outfit or get a manicure. When you look good you feel good and when you feel good you attract people to you.
- Join up. Dates will not fall on your doorstep, no matter how hard you wish for them. Join a book club, a running club or a local meet-up group that caters to people that are in the same boat as you.
- Put out the word. Let your friends, family and even neighbors know that you are back on the market. You never know who they may come up with to set you up, because someone always knows someone who is nice.
- Get online. The world revolves around the Internet these days, and joining a dating site, such as Post-Divorce Dating Club, is a great way to meet like-minded people. Put up a recent picture and keep your profile light, you will surely attract plenty of attention!
- Safety first. Remember some of the safety rules, such as always meet a first date out, make sure your cell phone is fully charged and let a friend know where you are going and who you are meeting.
- Forget the ex. Don’t spend your first, second or even third date talking about your ex. It is natural that you will compare and contrast, but keep it to yourself to pull out later when you are telling your friends about the date. Your date doesn’t want to hear about it, and it is a sure sign that you really aren’t ready to be back on the market.
- Date wisely. You don’t have to go out with every Tom, Dick or Jane that comes your way. Because you have been there and done that already, take your time and only meet those people who you think you will have something in common with and that you find interesting.
- Choose your times. Your kids don’t need to know that you are going to be dating again, and because you are divorced, you now have the time to date when your kids are with the other parent. Take that time to go out and when your kids are home, stay home with them and enjoy that time together. They still really need you.
- Don’t be nervous. There is no question that meeting someone new is always nerve wracking, but they are probably just as nervous as you are. It is just coffee, dinner or a glass of wine. If it is terrible, what is the worst thing that can happen? You say thank you so much and leave!
- Have fun. Dating can be fun if you pick the right people to go out with and you are ready for it. It is one more step in your post-divorce recovery that tells you that you are moving forward with your life in a positive and healthy way.
Lee Block is a multi-talented, twice divorced mom of two who saw a need in the post-divorce community and created a family of sites centered around fulfilling that need. Lee has successfully launched The Post-Divorce Chronicles, Lee Block.Com, and The Post-Divorce Dating Club, all within a matter of months. Lee is a certified professional divorce coach, published author, public speaker, blogger and writes for the Huffington Post, as well as many other online and offline publications. Startup Nation recently recognized her as a Leading Mom in Business in 2011.