By Lois Brenner, Divorce Attorney
*Original title: Are you a Stay-at-Home Mom? Are you wondering how you are going to survive your divorce financially?
There are many women who married young or gave up lucrative careers to have children once they were married. They often spend most of their marriage helping to support and in some cases build their husband’s careers/businesses in the best interest of the family.
But what happens when divorce comes knocking at your door? Continue reading
By Lisa Brick
For many of you who have found your way to Journey Beyond Divorce this divorce may not be your first. Your first experience with divorce may have been when your parents split up. The relationship you have with your spouse is also rarely the first contentious and painful relationship in your life, although it may well be the most agonizing. There are a number of you who have experienced other challenges in your childhood home, including neglect, substance abuse, sexual abuse, and violence. All of these experiences compound the pain around the discord and dissolution of your marriage.
by Karen Basmagy, Transition/Divorce Coach
The Power of Metaphor
As spring begins to blossom, many of us have been scrambling to get outside and clean up our yards, myself included. So this Sunday, I quit the seemingly never ending process of emptying boxes from my recent move and turned my attention to the long neglected flowerbeds in the front yard of my new home. I felt a strong need to get my hands in the dirt, feeling like it would be therapeutic for me. I am not always enthusiastic about doing such work but it had to be done and I needed to shift gears and get outside and away from those boxes!
As I methodically weeded and cleared out the old dead growth and debris in the bed, it reminded me of my transition from my old life to my new. I happily discovered as I began to clear away the weeds that I was able to find some of the familiar and beautiful plantings of my past that were hidden by them. Narcissus, live-forevers, azaleas, irises, ornamental grasses…all became visible as I slowly and diligently, with care and purpose, pulled the unwanted growth from the beds, allowing the new growth a chance to benefit from the warm caress of the spring sunshine, giving them their rightful place in the sun. Continue reading
By Karen McMahon
I awoke this morning feeling deeply grateful for my life. I began my day brewing freshly ground coffee, making a pot of steel oats, encouraging my 17 year old daughter (who has senioritis) to get moving; and feeding my feline family (yes, I have 4 cats). I had a sense of peace and joy. I realized how much I love my life. I love the people my two teenagers are becoming. I am crazy about my job and my clients and my remarkable team of coaches. I adore the women in my life…my deep circle of girlfriends and sisters. I am in awe by fact that I have consciously created a life I love! Someday I know I will meet a man that I choose to marry.
By Karen Basmagy
Easier said than done for many, maintaining a mature co-parenting relationship with your ex may be your greatest challenge as you seek to rebuild and redefine your life post-marriage. Emotions may still be running high for a very long time for one or both of you. It is imperative that you deal with the emotional demons surrounding your divorce in order to be the parent your child needs you to be. Though you can’t control the behavior of your ex, you can control your own and model what it truly means to be a “Grown-Up’. And by the way, being a grown-up also includes not pointing out how immature your ex’s behavior is. Your child will figure that out on his own as he grows and matures.
By Karen Basmagy
My marriage, like so many others, had floundered for years. Alternating between trying to work on the relationship and then falling back into those comfortable dysfunctional places, I would become so discontent that in my struggle for a solution, I would read yet another self-help book to try to understand why I just couldn’t make the damn thing work. What was I missing? Where was I falling short?
By Lisa Brick
There are many times that, like you, our clients call in a total panic. Emotional sparks are flying everywhere, like the end of an electrical wire that has been severed by a tree limb crashing down and snapping it in a storm. There is nothing getting past the break. All of the person’s energy is spewing randomly, everything dark with nothing available to light their path forward. These moments feel radioactive, destructive, frightening. Continue reading
By Patty, A Journey Beyond Client
My ideal partnership is one that feels as easy and natural as floating around on a raft. Not driven by obligation or restricted by fear, or clouded with compromise.
Back to the positive…my ideal partnership is completely accepting and supportive of each other, truly listening unselfishly without judgment. It includes encouraging and supporting each others’ goals and purpose for being and fully knowing each others’ past, present and dreams for the future. Continue reading
By Geri, JBD Client
I was in the throes of my divorce battle, emotionally tossed and turned inside out with every new discovery that emerged from the shadows about my ex’s betrayal of our 21 year marriage and his secret life. And, as the divorce process usually spirals from emotional to financial distress, I found myself having to uproot my two daughters, ages 20 and 18, from our large suburban home to cramped New York City apartment living.
I sorted whatever I couldn’t take with me and the objects that reminded me of life with my ex. The floor in my den was piled high with the wedding presents we had received and things we had acquired through the years. There were stacks of dishes, glassware, vases, paintings, decorative pillows, small appliances, electronics and knick knacks. I called my friends over for a free-for-all and thankfully most of the stuff was taken. I gave away sofas, tables, beds, outside furniture and even pool toys. I purged. I was left as empty on the outside as I felt on the inside. Continue reading
By Karen McMahon
During my years of coaching I have been fascinated at how often as adults we forget how to dream. When asked what their ideal is where a job, relationship, home or life, clients more often than not, “I don’t know”. When we dig deeper, most discuss what they don’t want and that is what they focus on. When our attention is focused on the very thing we don’t want, we unconsciously manifest it.
What We Appreciate Appreciates! What we focus our attention on grows! Continue reading