Category Archives: Guest Post

handling holidays post-divorce

Handling the Holidays as a Post-Divorce Parent

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Guest Post by Katie Vessel on the Elephant Journal


This last holiday season was hard.

This was the second round of holidays after what was a difficult divorce, following an even more difficult marriage.

Things have been processed for the most part, about as processed as they can be at this point. I have moved on with my life in many healthy ways, have discovered and renewed passions that have been in my blood since I was a young girl, have made many soul friends and am truly enjoying my life on the other side of what was nothing short of a life-changing experience.

But, something was different this year. Continue reading

Divorce Lifestyle Considerations

Divorce Lifestyle Considerations

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Guest Article By Aviva Pinto, CDFA™, Director, Bronfman E.L. Rothschild


Determining Where to File for Divorce

In most situations, you will file for a divorce in the state in which you and/or your spouse live. If you and your spouse own property in different states or you live apart, you might be able to select the state in which to file. In those situations, you and your attorney should evaluate the respective states’ divorce laws to determine the best choice. Among the items to consider are the length of time it will take to grant a divorce, the age of majority used in determining how long a parent is required to pay child support (for some states it is 18 and others it is 21), and filing and procedural rules, which can vary significantly. Continue reading

Financial Stress Coping

Divorce After 50 – Financial Mistakes to Avoid

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By Aviva Pinto, CDFA™, Director, Bronfman E.L. Rothschild


Divorce is a reality for a growing number of aging couples, a phenomenon commonly referred to as “gray divorce”. According to a 2013 study at Bowling Green State University, the divorce rate among adults ages 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. Now, one in four Americans getting divorced is 50 or older. Continue reading

Blueprint

A Blueprint for Problem-Solving Conversations

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By Dr. Dan Thomason – Guest Blogger


Couples who can solve problems

and resolve conflict in their relationship

typically grow closer,

have great respect for each other,

and report high levels of satisfaction in their relationship.

 

I’ve never had a couple come into my office and say, “We can solve problems and resolve conflict in our relationship just fine; it’s everything else that doesn’t work!” In my work with couples over the past twenty-five years, I’ve noticed one big difference in how men and women process information and emotions. There are always exceptions to the rule, but generally speaking, men process information and emotions internally, while women process information and emotions externally. Continue reading

The Impact of Divorce on Children

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By Tamara D. Afifi at TEDxUCSB


 

 

When considering divorce or going through a divorce, a very important question that comes up is how the divorce affects their children. There has been a lot of research on the relationships of children in adulthood, and what kinds of relationships they tend to have as adults. Professor Tamara Afifi of the University of California Santa Barbara did research on how divorce and family conflict affects children’s bodies, and has some great tips and suggestions here for how to deal with your spouse or ex-spouse and your children when going through this process: Continue reading

The Magic of Coaching: Life Is Better Because I Changed!

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By Erica T, Journey Beyond Client


 

The first time I ever spoke to Karen, I had gone for a walk around the block to blow off some steam and calm my nerves. This was a regular occurrence for me, since I had a constant feeling in the pit of my stomach that was a mixed bag of anger, resentment, anxiety, and fear of the unknown. My previous divorce attorney had given me her name and number and recommended I give her a call.

I had been seeing a therapist for many years. She was very insightful and I enjoyed meeting with her on a weekly basis. I had held off on calling Karen because I had built up a great relationship with my therapist (let’s face it, it takes a long time to find someone you really feel like you can talk to without being judged). After three years working with this therapist, I received a notice in the mail that said she would no longer be accepting my insurance. Cue divine intervention. Continue reading

How to Choose a Divorce Attorney: Common Mistakes

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Guest Post By Susan Reach Winters, Esq. and Lindsey M. Housman, Esq.*


Choosing a divorce attorney can be nerve-racking and stressful. Since selecting the right (or wrong) attorney to guide you through the divorce process can have a substantial effect on the rest of your life, it is a decision that should not be taken lightly.

While many people may give you suggestions as to what to look for in an attorney, it is important to be aware of the common pitfalls and mistakes in the selection process. Following are a few considerations for you to keep in mind as you begin your search.

“One size doesn’t fit all.” Continue reading

5 Ways to Feel Better About Divorce

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Guest Post By Amanda S. Trigg, Esq.


Divorce presents one of the most stressful situations that we endure and some attorneys will promise to make it easy. The truth is that even the best attorney has limited ability to do that. You, on the other hand, have the power to significantly improve your opportunities for a divorce that is easier on you and your children, shorter in duration and less expensive.

  1. Learn A Lot: What’s at stake? Not all money is created equal. Often, one spouse manages the money or knows more about the overall financial situation. Usually, that represents a reasonable division of responsibilities within the marriage and does not signify any real problem with financial management (but you can read a little more about this in my on-line blog post on adultery from April 7, 2014). If that was not your role in the relationship, take two steps. Continue reading

Strengthening your financial position: Part II – Post divorce

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Guest Post by AVIVA PINTO, CDFA™


Part II of this 2 part series.  Click here for Part I

 

After you’ve separated your financial lives, work carefully with your financial advisor to focus on planning your future.

Savings Goals

Determine how your post-divorce financial situation affects your ability to save for goals such as college or retirement and whether you will need to revise your expectations. We recommend creating a plan to maximize your savings.

 

Investment Strategy

You and your advisor can evaluate your investment allocations to make sure they are appropriate for your risk tolerance and your time horizon. An advisor can help you focus on rebuilding your assets while remaining cognizant of fees. Continue reading

Strengthening your financial position Part I: Pre divorce

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Guest Post By Aviva Pinto


Most people don’t begin their marriage expecting it to end in divorce. For those who do find themselves ending a marriage, a lot can be on the line financially as marital property, including investments, must be divided. Having a sound financial plan can ease your transition into life as a single person and can help ensure a comfortable financial future after the divorce.

This is a 2 part series.

Dividing up Your Financial Lives

It helps to work with a financial advisor to navigate this process, preferably a Certified financial Planner, who will act as a fiduciary and only make decisions in your best interest. Ideally, this advisor will work with you to set goals and objectives for investing and retirement planning as well as managing your immediate financial needs. Continue reading