Category Archives: Blog

Surrender is the most powerful choice you can make

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By Karen McMahon


Surrender is found in the wisdom that you are powerless over your circumstances

The concept of surrender may seem weak, like giving in, giving up or submitting.  Actually, it is very powerful and requires courage and faith.  Surrender does not mean to lie down and take what is being dished out or to hang your head in defeat.  Rather it means that after you have done all that you can in a given situation,you stop.  When there is nothing else you can do, do nothing.  Do not fret and worry, do not do more of the same,  that is counter productive.  Instead, just be, meditate, pray and surrender. Continue reading

Avoiding Worry – First Things First

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By Karen McMahon


 

“Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.” – William Ralph Inge

There is plenty that you can find to worry about right now as your life is changing in dramatic ways.  You may be wondering if you will keep the house or where you will end up living, how you are going to make ends meet with less money and more expenses, what the child custody is going to look like, etc.  It is huge and overwhelming, especially when you take it all on at once. You don’t need to go down that dark and scary alley.  Looking at the big picture right now is dangerous and only leads to distress. Continue reading

Taming the Voices in Your Head

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By Karen McMahon


STOP the merry-go-round 

You are undoubtedly arguing with your spouse more often than ever during this difficult season of divorce.  How often do you find yourself continuing the argument long after the other person is gone, this series is a must read.

After a confrontation with your spouse, you may find your self operating on automatic pilot because you are living in your head.  All your attention is on the heated argument that continues.  The only problem is the other party is long since gone.  But you keep on arguing, point — counter-point as your emotions continue to build.  As a result, you are staying angry, upset or frustrated.  The crazy part is that the situation has passed and you are making a conscious (or not so conscious) choice to prolong your own pain. Continue reading

Third Step To Love – Making Yourself A Priority

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Loving yourself enough to say, “I count too!”

If you want to find someone to love you, you must first love yourself.  How do you do that when everyone is demanding your time?

It is important to realize your role in ‘training’ your loved ones (children, spouse) to expect selflessness from you…as that is how you have acted until now.  By doing so, you have encouraged them to be selfish, primarily concerned with their own needs.  If you can own your part in this, it will help you to move forward. Continue reading

Step Two – First Love Thyself

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By Karen McMahon


 

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” – Oscar Wilde

The first challenge in self loving is to stay in your own head.  If you think about being self loving and immediately focus on what everyone else will say, think and do, you will defeat yourself before you begin.  For the sake of this exercise, their opinions don’t matter.  Focus only on your thoughts and feelings; we can deal with everyone else later.

Self-loving: The instinct or desire to promote one’s own well-being; regard for or love of one’s self.

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The First Step to Finding True Love

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By Karen McMahon


 

For many of us, it is hard to tell the difference between selfless, selfish and self-love.  We see our selflessness as a good thing, but is it?

Selfless is having, exhibiting, or being motivated by no concern for oneself

If you have always put family and friends first, self love will feel particularly uncomfortable. This is especially so when those closest to you are displeased with the thought of you taking time for yourself.    Those who depend on your selflessness will feel jilted and accuse you of being selfish.

 “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.” – Willam Shakespear

Continue reading

Divorce: Navigating the Unknown

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By Karen McMahon


Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel?

Divorce is the most emotionally devastating life transition you can experience, second only to the loss of a loved one.  That’s a pretty powerful statement.  It makes sense that you are not yourself; that you are on edge.  Perhaps you feel filled with uncertainty and fear of what the future holds; or feel you are drowning in anger and resentment when you are normally a happy person.  One of the difficult things we face in divorce is the loneliness and separation not only from our spouse, but often from our community of married friends.  We no longer socialize as a couple and what we have had in common begins to change.  As a result you may feel lost, that somewhere along the road you went astray and now, in the midst of the storm, don’t know how to get back on course. Continue reading

What We Appreciate, Appreciates…

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By Karen McMahon


“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.” – Gandhi

You know how something can happen that you find distasteful and you replay the events and words in your head over and over again. You actually feel the upset as if it is happening now; and yet it has already passed – it is now just an illusion, a story in your mind. You are on automatic pilot, ‘living in this past experience’ while the joy of the present moment is being lost. Perhaps you are driving down the road, not even noticing the sunshine, the color of the trees and the beautiful day or silly chatter and laughter of the kids in the back seat.

What we appreciate, appreciates. In other words, what we give our attention to grows in value. Continue reading