Category Archives: Post Divorce and Stuck

Post divorce but still looking back, wanting to undue it or simply afraid of moving forward into the unknown of a new life. Not ready to create a new life but no longer in your old one. Stuck, confused, sad, angry, jealous of your ex’s new life.

De-escalate Divorce During the Holidays

Comments off 733 Views0

By Lisa Brick


This is the Holiday Season, the season that bombards us with songs of peace on earth and goodwill to humanity and images of happy, laughing families and perfect gifts to buy and receive. Rather than being able to retreat to a cave to figure yourself out and how you got where you are, you’re thrown into planning and appearing in social situations where conversations can go from neutral to crucial in the blink of an eye, destroying anything enjoyable.

This season can be different because you can be different.   Continue reading

calm within the storm of divorce

The Calm Within the Storm of Divorce

Comments off 663 Views0

By Lisa Brick


“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it;
you can either accept it or resent it”
– 
Epictetus, 55-135 AD

Present Moment Awareness is not some airy fairy New Age practice.  It is the eye of and the path to sanity during the hurricane of divorce.   Continue reading

Judgement Vs Discernment

An Effective Alternative to Judgement During Divorce

Comments off 1028 Views2

By Karen McMahon


I often coach my clients around the impact that being judgmental has on them, the people they interact with and their circumstances.  I invite them to be discerning rather than judgmental and have found that there is significant confusion around these two words, what they mean and what the difference is.

If you look up judgement and discernment in some dictionaries, you may read the exact same definition, so the confusion makes sense.  My intention is that this article brings clarity to the topic. Here are some definitions to get us started:

Judgmental:  Being censorious or critical; having or displaying an overly critical point of view.

Discerning: Having or revealing keen insight and good judgement; being judicious, wise, prudent or circumspect. Continue reading

A Must Have App to Co-Parent With Ease

Comments off 834 Views0

By Lisa Brick


Do you break out in a sweat thinking about communicating with your ex? Resentment and hostility between parents is the norm after a contentious divorce. Communicating with your ex around custody schedules, medical issues, parenting approaches, and finances is loaded with emotion. Many of our clients, both male and female, break out in a sweat and experience their hearts pounding simply thinking about having to communicate with their ex let alone actually doing it. And now you have to co-parent together!   Continue reading

Media Multitasking During Divorce: Productive or Destructive?

Comments off 660 Views0

By Lisa Brick


Media Multitasking, as we tend to do it in the Information Age, is disrupting your ability to navigate divorce with grace and dignity.  The practice, as pervasive as it is, is hurting you by undermining your abilities to be calm and rational when it comes to communications with your yourself, your soon-to-be-ex (STBX), your attorney, and your children. Rather than a technique to boost efficiency, research indicates that media multitasking is actually a drain on the brain and therefore, a particularly nefarious practice during divorce.  

Continue reading

Strengthening your financial position: Part II – Post divorce

Comments off 594 Views0

Guest Post by AVIVA PINTO, CDFA™


Part II of this 2 part series.  Click here for Part I

 

After you’ve separated your financial lives, work carefully with your financial advisor to focus on planning your future.

Savings Goals

Determine how your post-divorce financial situation affects your ability to save for goals such as college or retirement and whether you will need to revise your expectations. We recommend creating a plan to maximize your savings.

 

Investment Strategy

You and your advisor can evaluate your investment allocations to make sure they are appropriate for your risk tolerance and your time horizon. An advisor can help you focus on rebuilding your assets while remaining cognizant of fees. Continue reading

Strengthening your financial position Part I: Pre divorce

Comments off 601 Views0

Guest Post By Aviva Pinto


Most people don’t begin their marriage expecting it to end in divorce. For those who do find themselves ending a marriage, a lot can be on the line financially as marital property, including investments, must be divided. Having a sound financial plan can ease your transition into life as a single person and can help ensure a comfortable financial future after the divorce.

This is a 2 part series.

Dividing up Your Financial Lives

It helps to work with a financial advisor to navigate this process, preferably a Certified financial Planner, who will act as a fiduciary and only make decisions in your best interest. Ideally, this advisor will work with you to set goals and objectives for investing and retirement planning as well as managing your immediate financial needs. Continue reading

Two Vital Steps To Take When Entering Divorce

Comments off 742 Views0

By Karen McMahon


 

If you are in the early stages of divorce there are two vital steps that you must take to prepare for this challenging transition.

Educate Yourself

The Legal Process:
We experience so many changes and have to make many decisions during divorce, it is essential to learn all that we can about the process. One of the most important facts to know is that divorce court does not judge us or our spouse. Barring serious abuse or physical danger, divorce court does not determine who is right or wrong, good or bad. If you are looking for justice, you will not find it in divorce court. A legal divorce is basically the business of deciding custody and allocating finances.

Your Finances
Custody aside, divorce is about the money. Understanding our finances requires that we gather information on all our assets, debts and income streams as well as the laws regarding maintenance and child support. If we are not the person in charge of our finances, this can feel overwhelming.

On our site, we have checklists available for you to begin the process. We will need to find and copy documents, make inquiries, and most important, enlist the support of a professional. The are financial planners, financial advisors, and Divorce Certified Financial Advisors. The key is finding the right professional that is not only an expert in their field but also has the personality style that enables us to feel comfortable and trust them. Continue reading

Connecting Time : The 7th Practice for Creating a Life You Love Post Divorce

Comments off 1293 Views0

By Lisa Brick


 

The way our culture and technology have developed it is possible and easy to spend days face to face with our smart machines indoors.  While we connect with people digitally, on phone, facebook, through pictures and video, there is an increasing tendency to move through our days with our headphones on, viewing small, medium, and large screens while avoiding eye contact or communion with the environment or the actual living, breathing human beings around us. Connecting Time, the sixth of the wellness practices we’ve been exploring, is an antidote to isolation and alienation. Continue reading

Co-parenting Post Divorce – Turning Challenges Into Opportunities

Comments off 2266 Views0

By Karen McMahon


Co-parenting in contentious relationships creates additional challenges above and beyond those discussed in Part 1 of this series, Co-parenting Post Divorce:  Tools & Strategies.

 

Take Off Your Armor and Put Down Your Sword

You may have been fighting for months or years over child support, custody, assets and personal property.  Now that the divorce is over, you may feel overly sensitive, tender, suspicious and still defensive.  Shifting out of your protective ‘armor’, letting down your defenses and being open to some flexibility within the parameters of your settlement agreement takes a conscious effort. Life is not black and white and the most well thought-out shared parenting plan is bound to run up against real life and the need for give and take.
Continue reading