Category Archives: Post Divorce and Eager

Post divorce and ready to create a new life. Working on forgiveness, feeling peaceful and excited about the opportunities and possibilities for the future.

De-escalate Divorce During the Holidays

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By Lisa Brick


This is the Holiday Season, the season that bombards us with songs of peace on earth and goodwill to humanity and images of happy, laughing families and perfect gifts to buy and receive. Rather than being able to retreat to a cave to figure yourself out and how you got where you are, you’re thrown into planning and appearing in social situations where conversations can go from neutral to crucial in the blink of an eye, destroying anything enjoyable.

This season can be different because you can be different.   Continue reading

calm within the storm of divorce

The Calm Within the Storm of Divorce

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By Lisa Brick


“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it;
you can either accept it or resent it”
– 
Epictetus, 55-135 AD

Present Moment Awareness is not some airy fairy New Age practice.  It is the eye of and the path to sanity during the hurricane of divorce.   Continue reading

Judgement Vs Discernment

An Effective Alternative to Judgement During Divorce

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By Karen McMahon


I often coach my clients around the impact that being judgmental has on them, the people they interact with and their circumstances.  I invite them to be discerning rather than judgmental and have found that there is significant confusion around these two words, what they mean and what the difference is.

If you look up judgement and discernment in some dictionaries, you may read the exact same definition, so the confusion makes sense.  My intention is that this article brings clarity to the topic. Here are some definitions to get us started:

Judgmental:  Being censorious or critical; having or displaying an overly critical point of view.

Discerning: Having or revealing keen insight and good judgement; being judicious, wise, prudent or circumspect. Continue reading

A Must Have App to Co-Parent With Ease

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By Lisa Brick


Do you break out in a sweat thinking about communicating with your ex? Resentment and hostility between parents is the norm after a contentious divorce. Communicating with your ex around custody schedules, medical issues, parenting approaches, and finances is loaded with emotion. Many of our clients, both male and female, break out in a sweat and experience their hearts pounding simply thinking about having to communicate with their ex let alone actually doing it. And now you have to co-parent together!   Continue reading

Authentic Find Authenticity

Find Your Authenticity: To Thine Own Self Be True

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By Karen Basmagy


One of the wonderful things about my career choice is witnessing clients becoming more authentically themselves, usually after periods of great pain, loss and change. They come to the coaching relationship “stuck” and without a real sense of direction or plan, or feel consumed by their emotions.  Within a very short time, they are moving themselves forward, creating a vision and taking steps towards creating a new reality for themselves.
 
For many, it is the first time in their adult lives that they are truly exploring what makes them happy, what gives them joy, and where they have compromised their values or perhaps lost parts of themselves along life’s path. Continue reading

Strengthening your financial position: Part II – Post divorce

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Guest Post by AVIVA PINTO, CDFA™


Part II of this 2 part series.  Click here for Part I

 

After you’ve separated your financial lives, work carefully with your financial advisor to focus on planning your future.

Savings Goals

Determine how your post-divorce financial situation affects your ability to save for goals such as college or retirement and whether you will need to revise your expectations. We recommend creating a plan to maximize your savings.

 

Investment Strategy

You and your advisor can evaluate your investment allocations to make sure they are appropriate for your risk tolerance and your time horizon. An advisor can help you focus on rebuilding your assets while remaining cognizant of fees. Continue reading

This Thing Called Love

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By Karen McMahon


 

What is your story around love?  Many celebrate and/or struggle with love…especially as Valentine’s Day nears.

As a single, divorced mother of two teens, I experience more love in my life now than I ever have.  I am not involved in a romantic relationship and yet I am showered with love, overflowing!  How is that possible?  I have completely changed the way I view and experience love over the past decade and would like to share that perspective with you.

My favorite definition of love…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7

Love is not what we get from others, it is the approach and experience we choose as we engage in all our relationships.  When we do so as described above (a challenging yet immensely rewarding practice), we receive all that we give, in abundance! Continue reading

Strengthening your financial position Part I: Pre divorce

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Guest Post By Aviva Pinto


Most people don’t begin their marriage expecting it to end in divorce. For those who do find themselves ending a marriage, a lot can be on the line financially as marital property, including investments, must be divided. Having a sound financial plan can ease your transition into life as a single person and can help ensure a comfortable financial future after the divorce.

This is a 2 part series.

Dividing up Your Financial Lives

It helps to work with a financial advisor to navigate this process, preferably a Certified financial Planner, who will act as a fiduciary and only make decisions in your best interest. Ideally, this advisor will work with you to set goals and objectives for investing and retirement planning as well as managing your immediate financial needs. Continue reading

Two Vital Steps To Take When Entering Divorce

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By Karen McMahon


 

If you are in the early stages of divorce there are two vital steps that you must take to prepare for this challenging transition.

Educate Yourself

The Legal Process:
We experience so many changes and have to make many decisions during divorce, it is essential to learn all that we can about the process. One of the most important facts to know is that divorce court does not judge us or our spouse. Barring serious abuse or physical danger, divorce court does not determine who is right or wrong, good or bad. If you are looking for justice, you will not find it in divorce court. A legal divorce is basically the business of deciding custody and allocating finances.

Your Finances
Custody aside, divorce is about the money. Understanding our finances requires that we gather information on all our assets, debts and income streams as well as the laws regarding maintenance and child support. If we are not the person in charge of our finances, this can feel overwhelming.

On our site, we have checklists available for you to begin the process. We will need to find and copy documents, make inquiries, and most important, enlist the support of a professional. The are financial planners, financial advisors, and Divorce Certified Financial Advisors. The key is finding the right professional that is not only an expert in their field but also has the personality style that enables us to feel comfortable and trust them. Continue reading

Connecting Time : The 7th Practice for Creating a Life You Love Post Divorce

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By Lisa Brick


 

The way our culture and technology have developed it is possible and easy to spend days face to face with our smart machines indoors.  While we connect with people digitally, on phone, facebook, through pictures and video, there is an increasing tendency to move through our days with our headphones on, viewing small, medium, and large screens while avoiding eye contact or communion with the environment or the actual living, breathing human beings around us. Connecting Time, the sixth of the wellness practices we’ve been exploring, is an antidote to isolation and alienation. Continue reading