Category Archives: Early Stages and Determined

In early stages of divorce and while upset and struggling also determined to move forward, learn and create a better future.

10 things to consider before filing

10 Things to Consider Before Filing for Divorce

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By Lisa Brick


Ask yourself: Are you doing this?

Fast food, online shopping, and even drive-through weddings. It’s becoming easier and faster to do almost anything in the world today. Unfortunately, our quick and easy culture does not yet apply to divorce. The divorce process is still a long, difficult road.  But if it is the right decision for you, there are ways to make the journey easier. As with any major decision, there are things to prepare before you begin. You will be dealing with confusing emotions while trying to make decisions that will affect you for years to come.  Preparation is key.

You need to be mentally and financially prepared for new living arrangements, new daily routines, and all kinds of decisions about property and money. Continue reading

calm within the storm of divorce

The Calm Within the Storm of Divorce

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By Lisa Brick


“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it;
you can either accept it or resent it”
– 
Epictetus, 55-135 AD

Present Moment Awareness is not some airy fairy New Age practice.  It is the eye of and the path to sanity during the hurricane of divorce.   Continue reading

Judgement Vs Discernment

An Effective Alternative to Judgement During Divorce

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By Karen McMahon


I often coach my clients around the impact that being judgmental has on them, the people they interact with and their circumstances.  I invite them to be discerning rather than judgmental and have found that there is significant confusion around these two words, what they mean and what the difference is.

If you look up judgement and discernment in some dictionaries, you may read the exact same definition, so the confusion makes sense.  My intention is that this article brings clarity to the topic. Here are some definitions to get us started:

Judgmental:  Being censorious or critical; having or displaying an overly critical point of view.

Discerning: Having or revealing keen insight and good judgement; being judicious, wise, prudent or circumspect. Continue reading

Truest Voice

The Truest Voice You Can Listen to During Divorce

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By Karen McMahon


The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
~ Albert Einstein.

  • I was thinking about calling my brother. The phone rang.  It was my brother, an unusual time for him to be reaching out to me.    
  • I was struggling to find a solution to a problem.  I was considering and considering yet nothing was coming.  I decided to leave it be and attend to something else. Suddenly the answer popped into my head.
  • I had an intense reaction to someone I saw in a store, the hair on the back of my neck went up and my entire body went into a fight or flight reaction.  I left immediately to find out later that he held up the shop owner by gunpoint.

Continue reading

Divorce Lifestyle Considerations

Divorce Lifestyle Considerations

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Guest Article By Aviva Pinto, CDFA™, Director, Bronfman E.L. Rothschild


Determining Where to File for Divorce

In most situations, you will file for a divorce in the state in which you and/or your spouse live. If you and your spouse own property in different states or you live apart, you might be able to select the state in which to file. In those situations, you and your attorney should evaluate the respective states’ divorce laws to determine the best choice. Among the items to consider are the length of time it will take to grant a divorce, the age of majority used in determining how long a parent is required to pay child support (for some states it is 18 and others it is 21), and filing and procedural rules, which can vary significantly. Continue reading

Financial Stress Coping

Divorce After 50 – Financial Mistakes to Avoid

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By Aviva Pinto, CDFA™, Director, Bronfman E.L. Rothschild


Divorce is a reality for a growing number of aging couples, a phenomenon commonly referred to as “gray divorce”. According to a 2013 study at Bowling Green State University, the divorce rate among adults ages 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. Now, one in four Americans getting divorced is 50 or older. Continue reading

Authentic Find Authenticity

Find Your Authenticity: To Thine Own Self Be True

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By Karen Basmagy


One of the wonderful things about my career choice is witnessing clients becoming more authentically themselves, usually after periods of great pain, loss and change. They come to the coaching relationship “stuck” and without a real sense of direction or plan, or feel consumed by their emotions.  Within a very short time, they are moving themselves forward, creating a vision and taking steps towards creating a new reality for themselves.
 
For many, it is the first time in their adult lives that they are truly exploring what makes them happy, what gives them joy, and where they have compromised their values or perhaps lost parts of themselves along life’s path. Continue reading

Faith & Surrender: An Invaluable Practice During Divorce

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By Karen McMahon


 

This article is not about religious beliefs, it is about a spiritual light in the darkness of the unknown.  It is about the practice of Faith and Surrender.

 

“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.”

― Paulo Coelho, Brida

Continue reading

Strengthening your financial position: Part II – Post divorce

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Guest Post by AVIVA PINTO, CDFA™


Part II of this 2 part series.  Click here for Part I

 

After you’ve separated your financial lives, work carefully with your financial advisor to focus on planning your future.

Savings Goals

Determine how your post-divorce financial situation affects your ability to save for goals such as college or retirement and whether you will need to revise your expectations. We recommend creating a plan to maximize your savings.

 

Investment Strategy

You and your advisor can evaluate your investment allocations to make sure they are appropriate for your risk tolerance and your time horizon. An advisor can help you focus on rebuilding your assets while remaining cognizant of fees. Continue reading

Two Vital Steps To Take When Entering Divorce

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By Karen McMahon


 

If you are in the early stages of divorce there are two vital steps that you must take to prepare for this challenging transition.

Educate Yourself

The Legal Process:
We experience so many changes and have to make many decisions during divorce, it is essential to learn all that we can about the process. One of the most important facts to know is that divorce court does not judge us or our spouse. Barring serious abuse or physical danger, divorce court does not determine who is right or wrong, good or bad. If you are looking for justice, you will not find it in divorce court. A legal divorce is basically the business of deciding custody and allocating finances.

Your Finances
Custody aside, divorce is about the money. Understanding our finances requires that we gather information on all our assets, debts and income streams as well as the laws regarding maintenance and child support. If we are not the person in charge of our finances, this can feel overwhelming.

On our site, we have checklists available for you to begin the process. We will need to find and copy documents, make inquiries, and most important, enlist the support of a professional. The are financial planners, financial advisors, and Divorce Certified Financial Advisors. The key is finding the right professional that is not only an expert in their field but also has the personality style that enables us to feel comfortable and trust them. Continue reading