Category Archives: Emotional Journey

handling holidays post-divorce

Handling the Holidays as a Post-Divorce Parent

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Guest Post by Katie Vessel on the Elephant Journal


This last holiday season was hard.

This was the second round of holidays after what was a difficult divorce, following an even more difficult marriage.

Things have been processed for the most part, about as processed as they can be at this point. I have moved on with my life in many healthy ways, have discovered and renewed passions that have been in my blood since I was a young girl, have made many soul friends and am truly enjoying my life on the other side of what was nothing short of a life-changing experience.

But, something was different this year. Continue reading

De-escalate Divorce During the Holidays

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By Lisa Brick


This is the Holiday Season, the season that bombards us with songs of peace on earth and goodwill to humanity and images of happy, laughing families and perfect gifts to buy and receive. Rather than being able to retreat to a cave to figure yourself out and how you got where you are, you’re thrown into planning and appearing in social situations where conversations can go from neutral to crucial in the blink of an eye, destroying anything enjoyable.

This season can be different because you can be different.   Continue reading

10 things to consider before filing

10 Things to Consider Before Filing for Divorce

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By Lisa Brick


Ask yourself: Are you doing this?

Fast food, online shopping, and even drive-through weddings. It’s becoming easier and faster to do almost anything in the world today. Unfortunately, our quick and easy culture does not yet apply to divorce. The divorce process is still a long, difficult road.  But if it is the right decision for you, there are ways to make the journey easier. As with any major decision, there are things to prepare before you begin. You will be dealing with confusing emotions while trying to make decisions that will affect you for years to come.  Preparation is key.

You need to be mentally and financially prepared for new living arrangements, new daily routines, and all kinds of decisions about property and money. Continue reading

Stay Home Mom Survive Divorce Financially

5 Survival Tips for Divorcing Stay-at-Home Moms

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By Lois Brenner, Divorce Attorney

*Original title: Are you a Stay-at-Home Mom? Are you wondering how you are going to survive your divorce financially?


There are many women who married young or gave up lucrative careers to have children once they were married. They often spend most of their marriage helping to support and in some cases build their husband’s careers/businesses in the best interest of the family.

But what happens when divorce comes knocking at your door? Continue reading

musings of a recovering perfectionist

Musings of a Recovering Perfectionist

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By Karen McMahon


Perfectionism and divorce are a lethal combination.  We begin with an impossible task.  We are going to do this divorce thing right…the best…unfaltering.  What does that even mean?!

  • Make the best decisions
  • Handle everyone’s reaction perfectly
  • Say the right thing
  • Do the right thing…always
  • Pick the best attorney and expect perfection from him/her.
  • Negotiate the best deal
  • Be the perfect STBX…the perfect divorcing parent
    • no arguing,
    • no ‘bad’ choices,
    • no hurtful words spoken

OMG…as if divorce is not hard enough!!  We, the proud perfectionists of the world, will do this thing perfectly! Continue reading

calm within the storm of divorce

The Calm Within the Storm of Divorce

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By Lisa Brick


“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it;
you can either accept it or resent it”
– 
Epictetus, 55-135 AD

Present Moment Awareness is not some airy fairy New Age practice.  It is the eye of and the path to sanity during the hurricane of divorce.   Continue reading

Judgement Vs Discernment

An Effective Alternative to Judgement During Divorce

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By Karen McMahon


I often coach my clients around the impact that being judgmental has on them, the people they interact with and their circumstances.  I invite them to be discerning rather than judgmental and have found that there is significant confusion around these two words, what they mean and what the difference is.

If you look up judgement and discernment in some dictionaries, you may read the exact same definition, so the confusion makes sense.  My intention is that this article brings clarity to the topic. Here are some definitions to get us started:

Judgmental:  Being censorious or critical; having or displaying an overly critical point of view.

Discerning: Having or revealing keen insight and good judgement; being judicious, wise, prudent or circumspect. Continue reading

Truest Voice

The Truest Voice You Can Listen to During Divorce

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By Karen McMahon


The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
~ Albert Einstein.

  • I was thinking about calling my brother. The phone rang.  It was my brother, an unusual time for him to be reaching out to me.    
  • I was struggling to find a solution to a problem.  I was considering and considering yet nothing was coming.  I decided to leave it be and attend to something else. Suddenly the answer popped into my head.
  • I had an intense reaction to someone I saw in a store, the hair on the back of my neck went up and my entire body went into a fight or flight reaction.  I left immediately to find out later that he held up the shop owner by gunpoint.

Continue reading

Divorce Lifestyle Considerations

Divorce Lifestyle Considerations

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Guest Article By Aviva Pinto, CDFA™, Director, Bronfman E.L. Rothschild


Determining Where to File for Divorce

In most situations, you will file for a divorce in the state in which you and/or your spouse live. If you and your spouse own property in different states or you live apart, you might be able to select the state in which to file. In those situations, you and your attorney should evaluate the respective states’ divorce laws to determine the best choice. Among the items to consider are the length of time it will take to grant a divorce, the age of majority used in determining how long a parent is required to pay child support (for some states it is 18 and others it is 21), and filing and procedural rules, which can vary significantly. Continue reading

Financial Stress Coping

Divorce After 50 – Financial Mistakes to Avoid

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By Aviva Pinto, CDFA™, Director, Bronfman E.L. Rothschild


Divorce is a reality for a growing number of aging couples, a phenomenon commonly referred to as “gray divorce”. According to a 2013 study at Bowling Green State University, the divorce rate among adults ages 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. Now, one in four Americans getting divorced is 50 or older. Continue reading