By Karen McMahon


The way we draw what we want to us is by developing clarity around our desires.  When I was going through my divorce, I was worried about where I would live and how I would be able to make a living while caring for my two school age children.  I was encouraged to write down my ideal home and job and told that by doing so, I would manifest it.  I didn’t fully believe this was possible, but gave it a shot.  Much to my surprise both my new home and job turned out to be a perfect fit and looked very much like my written description.

Sometimes when you are so deep in the struggle of divorce it is hard to dream.  You are in survival mode and the thought of moving forward, laughing and feeling joy and thriving in your new life seems, at best, like a distant blurry mirage.  It is totally understandable.  Beginning to draw out from your heart and spirit what your future will hold is a great way to shift your energy up and tap into a knowing that you have deep inside.  It gives you hope and enables you to begin to see past the wreckage to the opportunities on the other side.

Think about what will change and where you would like to begin focusing your energy.  You may have abeginning-to-dream good job but be worried about custody and living arrangements.  Your living arrangements may be set but you are going back to work for the first time in year and don’t know what you should do.  You may be figuring out how you will pay child support and alimony and wondering how you can still enjoy a quality of life.

Caution:  The first thing that happens when you begin to dream is your mind (ego) tells you all the reason you cannot.  You don’t have enough time, money, education, confidence, etc.  Imagine there are NO obstacles; that a genie has come to visit you and is ready to give you your heart’s desire.  What does it look like?

Whatever your fear or worry, focus on that aspect of your life that is changing and dare to dream.  What does your IDEAL look like?  Draw it out in great detail.  Use all your senses.  Here are some questions to get you started:

  • What do your days look like? When are you working?  What does your time with the kids look like?  What help and support do you have to help?
  • What do you love to do that you would like to fit into a career?  How does your day flow?  Who do you work with?  What do you spend your time doing?  Who are the type of people you work with?
  • What does your new home look like?  How many rooms, colors, sizes?  Where is it located?  How are you decorating it?  What is your favorite room?

Where do you have the most fear about your future and how was it for you to do this exercise?  Tell us what came up.

Or if you too have manifested your future be writing all the details of your desires, we would love to hear about it.

Chief Visionary: Karen McMahon

Karen McMahonOur team of coaches at JBD is passionate about helping men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. We work together with you to open the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Together we create a path to clarity. Find out if Coaching is right for you, and accept my gift of one FREE session.

  • Soon to be Divorced!

    I’m all for creative visualization, manifesting images in your mind and tapping into potential. But, there are people with real world problems, and new age dreaming won’t assist them. Fear can be paralyzing, but I would suggest the best “coaching” would be action oriented. To worry is to be passive, to dream is also to be passive, neither will get you anywhere substantial. Action is needed, and once you engage in that action, life transforms you. Maybe I’m just better at dealing with change and navigating my life, but dreaming and ruminating on your fears are two sides of the same issue, one is delusional, the other destructive. You should present people with a middle ground, encouraging them to take small, achievable steps.